1. Men don’t think about sex as much as women think they do.
I’ve only thought of sex twice today. One, was when i was looking at a nice piece of ass in the line in front of me…nice shape, perfect curve…not too soon from the lower back and not obnoxious in its occupation of the space it was in.
Now you might think all this information was collected in a sick twisted sexual fantasy…but no, I was just admiring god’s work…the fantasy came when I saw her face (and breast… 🙂 ), she was Asian and I can tell you they are the new black girls. The Kool aide has been stirred!!
2. I might be Mexican….next to Jamaican food…the second best is mexican…just had a empanadas or a patty as we call it…because it’s so much like our chicken patty…just without the curry. They use pull chicken…not chopped and their crust is not as flaky…so lessen the mess.
3. I will always fly with only carry on luggage….its so much easier.
You spend less time waiting on it to show up at baggage claim, you know where you stuff are at all times…if you have get another flight after yours has been cancelled…your options are wider…not just the original airport you were scheduled to fly into…and it’s limits what you can carry…who packs a suitcase and just 1/4 of the stuff belongs to them. Might sound selfish, but they’re not the one customs is harassing, ” No Ms. Dulsy put the drugs in the breadfruit…I just pick it up and drop it off, personally i prefer my breadfruit fried.”
4. I now understand why people dress like they are going to bed when they are at the airport….because at any point in time you can end up sleeping there! Seriously…wtf?? I feel like sitting on the same plane that just landed, so that I know I have a guaranteed ride….anywhere!!
5. I feel like an outcast and weird for not having a single tattoo.
I should cut an arm off and sharpen it down to a point…dip it in ink to write with and that might quite possibly start a trend.
6. I’m really extremely calm, even to the point that people think I have no emotions and nothing affects me or as I heard it in the past ” I have no care in the world”
7. Asians are sexy!! Very sexy…clearly not the unmixed ones or the ones in ” Mr. Chin shop!
8. Black girls are now a parody of themselves…(yes Shelly, some!!)
Independence, strength and individuality is now replaced by mockery, insecurity and anger (mostly at themselves)
And they look more older white women, with a bad make up job and stringy hair.
9. I’m sexy….and I should know it!
Especially in a suit 🙂
10. All the fat chicks are the ones that get married first….and by fat, I mean fat!
Chubby, big boned, fluffy, a lot to love, now you see me and I can’t hide fat….yet they are the ones that are all over bridezilla (look, I was flipping through channels and it’s like a train wreck…I couldn’t look away), in the bridal shops being charged extra for more fabric, weighting down her half of the cake…ok I’m exaggerating about the cake thing…but most of them are with “freshly squeezed on rings”.