So I’m slim…ish….
I’ve always been slim…
Well at one point in time I was “marga”, but there was nothing I could do about that, my metabolism was running 48hr shifts everyday.
But I was ok with me, essentially.
I wanted to put on more weight because I felt my penis could use a bit more…girth (yes, widening…based on porn)
All and all I was fine with what I was.
My self image was being dampened more with my own mind than anything else…
Even when I’d hear stuff like…
“You could use a likkle bit a more muscles”
”You cyan manage mi” or “boy, yu nah nyam??”
As you might have guessed, these comments were from females and I’d take comfort in the fact that my oldest brother looked exactly like me up til 23, now he’s competing with pops for the belly of the year award.
People used to say that they didn’t know who was carrying the baby, him or his wife. (ok, ok, I said it)
So years have passed and now I stand with a bit more meat to me and a small gut which I’m proud of.
Now the comments are like…
”You’ve filled out”, “you look like you can manage this now” or “You looking like a man now” have replaced those of old.
All this I must point out from the supposedly kinder fairer sex…sure!
Anyways, words never really affected me alot but I knew the power of them and became respectful of that power.
As I mentioned before my self image hinged on my own thoughts.
You see growing up in a family of 10-13 people you learn to satisfy, take stock of what you have and make the best of it, even take it a step further and make some sacrifices for the greater good of your kin.
I had a strong sense of who I was from a young age, thou I could chameleon a bit, never to the stage where people would question my authenticity but I could hang out uptown, downtown, with christians or with whores, pretty much most groups.
I was respectful of their space and expressions and I tried to relate in a bid to understand human behavior…I guess that’s when I started studying people.
Years of that led me to introducing myself like:
“Hi, I’m Dre and I hate people, because I know them so well”
Now why am I saying all of this, alluding back to the title of the post.
I’ve notice…well I can’t help but notice whenever I go on my IG timeline, Facebook or on the t.v. over by someone’s house that they won’t turn off, through casual conversations I had overheard.
It’s saturated mostly with gym this, lose weight now, I want butt implants that.
Is it that we are never satisfied with ourselves, being duped in a certain body type is the only healthy size?
Wooden spoon deep in our yearning for attention we’d rather transform to fit into a mold?
Now I recognize that some people are living a health lifestyle by eating right and exercising, but is that the majority? And most people will answer ‘yes’, very defensively, and cite the job creation and self esteem issues from this industry.
As I was mentioned earlier about my own shortcomings and it’s even in the name “self esteem” we can be ok and confident in whatever shape we are in, but perception is a bitch.
We tend to use certain statements to justify our own selfishness, laziness or plain old vanity.
”Beauty is only skin deep.”
”Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”
”You’re as young as you feel”
”The early bird catches the worm.”
Ok, that’s a bit of a stretch because whatever time I’m allowed to leave my job and get down to the store, they better restock them worms!
But all of these terms are spewed out very hypocritically, with the same breath they murmur
“…The only skin deep she knows are the deep fried bucket of chicken she just had as a mid-morning snack”
The exercise industry is a billon dollar industry yet the world is filled with fat people and everyone knows that in order to make a successful business you need repeat customers. So this industry feeds on the insecurities of the wider society. They weren’t a lot of fat people around back in the day, because you had to walk everywhere you went, plant or catch your own food, run dung Oman…literally or beat a dude’s ass for his woman! That’s all the exercise you needed right there.
Now things have modernized a bit right?
The transportation system means you walk from your house to your car or the bus stop, travel how many miles, sitting on your ass all the way then take 2 more steps to work where you sit on your ass all day for 5 days out of the week. Then weekend comes around, TGIF right?
You’ll have dinner…on your ass,
Have a drink or seven…on your ass,
Go to the movies…on your ass…
Win at the games night…on your ass.
The remainder of the weekend is where you clean the house, go to the store for hours on end, play football or whatever sport, wash the car etc…(add your weekend chores here) that’s a lot tiring work right? Because it’s a small break from being on your ass during the week?
So it is said that in order to live a health green lifestyle you need a 1hr in the gym daily…or was it 4? I don’t know, it increases every time I hear the pitch yelled at you by some muscled dude in tank top that looks like he shops at the baby gap, when fat shaming doesn’t work. Women are more susceptible to this selfish world view.
They are riddled with insecurities based on part biology and part societal norms and in turn trickles down to men when they add this in their bag of vagina hunting survival kit.
All this is based on my observations when I tend to boil down human behavioral motivations down to the rue of what we are as human beings which are normally simply just survival…
Procreation…survival of ones genes, Teaching culture…survival of a lifestyle and values, nurturing or parenting survival of your experiences and lessons.